What Hurts The Most...Saiho

You texted and called me last night to say you miss me
Yet you just made me feel even more lonely then I just cried

You confuse me
You've confused me for more than 3 years
But  you also just leave me with nothing but tears

I thought you were my soul mate....but I'm afraid I don't believe that anymore.
I gave myself to you fully...I wish you had done the same


You make me happy with your humorous character
I love the way you always think of me and take care of me when I'm in need
I still get butterflies everytime I see you
Your kisses still feel the same as our first one at the Hollywood Bowl

I love the way you hold me when I'm sleeping..
...the way you hold your little towel
Your touch is amazing and how I wish I could have it for the rest of my life

I've always pictured living with you..
Cooking for you after you finished work...
Making you your favorites...
Having lazy sundays with you...

I've been in pain for 3 years
I was in pain last when you invite to a wedding in another country and realized I wasn't the person you initially invited
I was in pain when I felt disrespected when you considered to leave with another girl at the Red light district
I was in pain and still in pain when your friends still think I'm just your friend
I am in pain whenever your weekend is 90% with your friends and 10% me

I don't know what I want from you
But I know what I deserve..

If you really and truly love me...I wish you'd let me go..