Noone Will Ever Know..

I drive..I drive alone
My heart is beating..I'm nervous and I'm fearful of the unknown
The late afternoon sun glistening on my lips and eyes covered with shame....
The meaning of my fears...
Whom can you trust?
Noone will ever know

My destination seems clear but my mind is wandering farther than the actual moment in time....thinking about how to safely get to the next one...one excuse after another just to find that momentary salvation.....
Noone will ever really know.....

How do you find the meaning of love when its your love ones that betray you?
You find ways to keep positive and remain hopeful just for the end to be another reason to wake up hoping that it was all just a nightmare but sadly, it's the truth.
Noone will ever really know...

Our conversations remind me of a child's playground; hopeful but stationary
It's a merry go round....turning over and over again with no exact destination or that swing that just goes up and down; in the end nothing but stationary.
Why can't you just be transparent
Yet another wasted time...
Your true intentions
Noone will ever know

Here I am surrounded by the glory of my own legacy of love...yet love never seizes to fail me
A new family that claims to know one another singing harmoniously as one but truly singing their own versions of the meaning to song's melody.
Nevertheless, I welcome you in my heart - you helped me become closer not to God but to myself....
Make me to know..he says..
Lead me in thy truth?
What does it mean?
What I pray for during communion?
Noone will ever know...

Nightmares visit me...they often do..
They seem so real that I wake up not knowing what's true and what's not the truth..
Yet another fear..
Noone will ever know

So much sorrow and sadness yet it's always hidden away from a facade of materialistic happiness just for the sake of saving face..
The true pain and heartaches
No one will ever truly know

I got home..I got home safely...again alone
I can't help but cry.....
They don't understand....
Even I don't understand..
I surrender my salvation...
Noone will ever know....

When does it ever end?
When does one find a moment to live again..
When will the truth just set you free..

When will I ever smile again..
Noone will ever know..